miracles are all around

I'm so sad right now. Dissapointed on myself. Why I always let people down. Why am I such a failure? But I know everyone born to this cruel world for a reason and for a mission. Read an entry from Nely's blog. She got a NICE story from a guy's blog. It's so nice and eventhough I read it quite some time ago but the question just keep turning in my brain. When can I accomplish my mission and leave this world for good? When? Yes. I'm only 19 but this means nothing. People can die right after they come to this world. But I've lived for an extra 19 years, isn't it sound alot? but compare with my parents. They are 50 now. Living for half a century in this world. If I don't encounter any accident or get any sickness, I still have many more years to go. Is this a good or a bad news? God knows.

Received a news about one of my relative. She's about 30 something. She married at the age of 30+ also. Have two children and now... she's dying because of cancer. From what I have been hearing about, her husband is a worst guy. SUX. They married because some match making sessions and they both were already considered too old and parents were rushing them to get married. So this marriage took place. The lady is from a high income family. She's the only daughter and have a elder brother. She's always pamper by her family as she's the youngest and also the only daughter in the family. See.. how good is her life before marriage. And after she got married, her husband is that kind of guy who listen more to his mum rather than do his own judgement. =.= and his mum is a bad one!! bully my relative...=( so they ended up quarrel several times. Ok. This is just background story of her.

Then she was sick and her husband brought her to Malacca (Malacca is famous in my hometown for their medical service , Mahkota Hospital). So without any notice to her family, her husband signed the operation agreement and she went through an operation for removal of the ovarium. When she was back to Indonesia, her brother was so shock as her husband didn't even seek advice from her family. Then her brother brought her to Singapore for check ups. And she went through chemotherapy and took some medicine. She was brought back to her husband house and her husband was told to bring her to Singapore for coming check ups and take care of her. Anyway, he don't want people to say he is irresponsible. Then now we got news about her condition is getting worse. She lose weight drastically and her stomach is bloated and can't pass out the urine. When doctor help her to suck out her urine. It's all blood. =( They said is because the medicine is not suitable for her. So her husband should be taking her to hospital immediately after she show these symptoms. But for your information, she was brought to hospital by her own brother. Her husband was no where to be found. And some people called her brother and her brother rushed to her place to carry her down from upstairs and drive her to hospital. I heard that her brother was crying. They don't even dare to let her mum know about this. Her mum is quite old and they don't want to hurt her with this news.

Nely was telling me that her children are still very young and are taken care by the husband's housekeeper. =.= when she was alright and healthy, she doesn't even get the chance to take care of her own children as the housekeeper keep taking her children away. Worst thing is her husband will never listen to her but the housekeeper. And I also heard that her children don't really recognise their own mother. sigh. Nely commented that her children won't even know that their only mum will be dying or even they'll grow up without any memory about their mum. This is so unfair.

Sorry to blog such a long story.

But I just want to let people know. It's better to marry late than ending up with this kind of marriage. And life is so unfair to many people, but why I'm still living and can't do a thing to stop all these nonsense? am I useless? Yes.

ciao~